IT'S A BRAND NEW YEAR!!

Guess I was kidding myself the first of last year that I could actually lose weight ... I didn't lose anything really. I think I'll try again now to see how it goes.
I have 6 grandsons now. Matthew David was born June 2, 2010. He is so cute. The picture is of him and one of his big brothers, Zach. And in May I will have my first granddaughter. We are all so excited about that.
My husband was killed on October 6 last year by someone that he allowed into his home. Unfortunately, his kindness cost him his life. The trial is supposed to be this month. I hope they don't change it.
Going to have knee surgery in March. That is the main reason I would like to lose weight right now ... I think even a little will be helpful.
We shall see.

It's been awhile

Haven't written in several weeks which means, obviously, I have not been doing well. I got really frustrated after 3 weeks because I'd lost a little then gained it back. So I gave up ... but I'm going to get back with it. Haven't totally given up. Reminder to self -- keep your eye on the prize!
I was just reading some of my older blogs and I made comments about how when I'm upset or depressed I want to binge on something sweet.... do not want to have "diet" food. Well, recently there have been a couple of times (ok, 3 or 4 times) that I wasn't necessarily upset or depressed ... I just wanted something sweet to eat so for several days I pigged out on Reese's peanut butter cups. Couldn't seem to get enough. And the whole time I'm thinking why am I doing this? I do not have an answer. But it did feel as though I was "stuffing" something down inside of me ... not the candy ... maybe feelings? Not sure.
KYEOTP!!

Off and on

My emotions about wanting to lose weight go up and down. I've been on this for about 3 weeks, lost 3 last week but do not understand why I gained 3 back this week. This doesn't make sense because I'm eating so much less than before and eating better foods. I admit I have cheated some but not enough to make me gain weight.
Keep my eye on the prize .. keep my eye on the prize .. keep my eye on the prize!!

I'm back on track ... or trying to be

It's not that I did real bad the past week but wasn't in a good place and definitely not in the mood to write in my blog (which is probably when I need to write). I weighed Sunday and it was back up three pounds. I don't get it. I should have at least lost some and not gained. But that stupid scale weighs different all the time. Laina says she's lost 10 pounds ... but we've both basically been eating the same thing.
Right now there's an issue that Juli is having with Josh about Izzy and it's really got us kind of scared. Hopefully it will turn out OK. But it's hard not to pig out when I'm worried about something.

This is tough!

I'm really struggling this week. My mind is just not focusing and my heart isn't in it. We're going out to eat tonight and all I can think about is what I SHOULDN'T eat! Lord, give me strength.

A few days later

Haven't done real good these past few days and obviously haven't written anything. Weighed on Sunday and had lost about 3 pounds but then kinda went crazy and ate some things I shouldn't have and I think that made it much harder to get back with the program. I'm not really over-eating but not following the program real well. I have got to get back on track. I'm just not "in a good place." But I'll get there. Note to self ... keep your eye on the prize.
I am so moody. One minute I'm feeling good about the day and about what I'm doing or eating/or going to eat, the next minute I'm sort of down about it. This gets old. I'm feeling really weak right now ... not in the sense that I might pass out .. but unable to resist temptation.

IS IT FRIDAY YET?

Seems like my main goal in life is waiting for the weekend. And I must admit it always gets here pretty quickly. But during the work week I'm always thinking ... is it Friday yet? I feel like right now in my life all I do is sit, watch TV, play on the computer, eat, go to the casino, talk on the phone and work. If I do go shopping I have to go to a store with an electric cart. Nothing to improve my life except for now that I'm trying to get healthier. So perhaps as I lose weight my life will improve to where I'm up to doing more things outside the house.
One thing is for sure, I wouldn't be able to do this without Laina. She likes to cook and makes healthy meals, even fixes my lunches for work. Because of my problem with both knees I just can't do much but she waits on me. I could not do this without her.